what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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