ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
