He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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