You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't trust your balls anymore.