Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.