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hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
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