It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face