you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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