She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I checked into jail on foursquare
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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