I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's rum buckets o'clock
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
