I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
