I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize