the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
