so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
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I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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