eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize