I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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