Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
