shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize