Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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