Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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