so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
