told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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