Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize