Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
