I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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