the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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