Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
