PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
