It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
