I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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