4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
