i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
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I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
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Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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