No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
