I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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