Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I did not marry a roomba.
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