Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
