Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
