Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize