So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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