So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
