Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
