nutella sex= disaster
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
