Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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