I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will be naked everywhere
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
