Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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