Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
