so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
