I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize