Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
