lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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