I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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