brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
