Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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