He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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