Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
