I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
