Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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