i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
