READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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